An Appetite for Adventure

For those of you that have been to Asia, you may already be familiar with this sight. For those who are like “huh?”, let me introduce you to the squat pot. Also known more euphemistically as the “Asian-style” toilet, the squatting toilet makes no pretense about the natural way us humans are supposed to relieve ourselves.

In an attempt to acclimate students to Chinese culture — or simply as a result of little renovation since the 1960s, –my university features only squatters. While most newbies are shocked and awed by these seemingly primitive latrines, even skeptics can have a potty party with the help of a few pointers:

1) BYOTP, as squatters rarely ever provide it for you
2) Face the drain and place your feet on either side of the hole. Usually there are grooves for your shoes
3) Squat down low so as not to lose your balance, then leave your upper body/arms/hands on your thighs and knees while sticking your butt way out behind you. Yeah, it’s weird to have your bare ass waving in the air, but your pants will thank you
4) When finished, throw your paper in the barrel provided rather than in the drain, as many of the plumbing systems in these parts can’t handle paper overload
5) Step aside before you flush! I’ve found out the hard way that flushing unleashes a deluge which easily splashes back onto your new kicks. G-R-O-S-S

See? Now you’re an expert in getting down low to do your dirty deeds. While squatting toilets are certainly odd to us Westerners, the pots really aren’t all that bad and prove even easier to manage than killing your quads trying to hover over a nasty Starbuck’s can. So next time you’re in Asia, don’t be afraid to stop, drop and squat.